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{ This post is another in the series of posts that I am posting here on Abyssum.org consisting of the serialization of the document CREATE IN ME A CLEAN HEART issued last November by the bishops of the United States in an effort to stop the plague of pornography afflicting our society}

Marriage and future marriages

Using or creating pornography within marriage is always wrong and can never be justified.

98 It violates marital chastity and the dignity of the spouses. Pornography use within marriage severely damages the spouses’ trust and intimacy both because of the pornography use itself and because of the deception and lies usually involved in one spouse hiding his or her behavior from the other. It has been identified by divorce lawyers as a major factor in over half of divorces.

99 Spouses who discover their husband’s or wife’s pornography use will often feel betrayed, and many experience a sense of trauma akin to post-traumatic stress disorder.

100 Data also indicates that husbands and wives who use pornography are more likely to have an extramarital affair.

101 Contrary to the common idea that pornography can be an aid to marital intimacy, pornography use tends to decrease sexual satisfaction and interest in sex

102 and can lead to impotence in men.

103 One spouse might also feel degraded by the other’s requests for demeaning forms of sexual activity common in pornography.

104 In contrast, God’s plan for marriage and chastity within marriage brings real happiness and intimacy to couples; the Church wants this for all husbands and wives! For single men and women, viewing pornography can make it more difficult to discern and embrace a vocation, whether to marriage, priesthood, or consecrated life. It can damage the ability to enter and maintain a self-giving relationship of mutual trust and respect, in part because it trains viewers to use another person for their own physical pleasure. Pornography increases isolation and can discourage young adults from undertaking the work of a relationship in the first place, because it promises “satisfaction” from an undemanding source.

105 Undoubtedly, pornography fuels the hook-up culture by promoting sexual encounters without relationship.

106 A young man must take risks to win the heart of a woman; he faces no such risks by viewing images on the computer. Because of the shame and feelings of unworthiness that come with pornography use, some young adults may not feel they “deserve” a real, healthy relationship. Parenting and the family In his 2014 Lenten message, Pope Francis noted, “How much pain is caused in families because one of their members—often a young person—is in thrall to alcohol, drugs, gambling or pornography!”

107 Parents today face increasing challenges in protecting their children’s innocence. Pornography can enter the home through a variety of doors. The most obvious is 15 media and technology, which includes not only computers, tablets, and mobile phones but also video games connected to the Internet. Many parents feel ill-equipped to understand the various devices their children use, let alone monitor them or install parental controls or filters. Another challenge parents face is the occasion of events such as camp-outs or sleepovers, where children could be exposed to pornography by peers or even other adults, while their parents are not present. The use of pornography by anyone in the home deprives the home of its role as a safe haven and has negative effects throughout a family’s life and across generations. Parents struggling with pornography addiction waste time watching pornography, and they may inflict financial burdens on the family through their compulsion. Fatherhood is gravely impacted because a son will look to his father as a model, and a daughter will look to her father to understand how a man should treat a woman. Lastly, given pornography’s strong correlation with divorce, many children suffer the effects of their parents’ divorce as “collateral damage” to pornography use.

(To be continued in the next post)