L’OSSERVATORE ROMANO PICKS THE TEN BEST ROCK AND POP ALBUMS OF ALL TIME – I AM NOT KIDDING!

SURELY THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END!

Well, maybe not!
But, incredible though it may be, the official newspaper of the Vatican, L’Osservatore Romano,
has picked the ten best rock and pop albums of all time.  I am serious!  I am not kidding!

I would not have believed it except that I read about it in the blog of that intellectual periodical, FIRST THINGS!  Here is the post which appeared on the First Things website:

http://www.firstthings.com/blogs/firstthoughts/2010/02/15/geezer-rock-listening-baby-boomers-take-over-vatican-newspaper/
Geezer Rock-Listening Baby Boomers Take Over Vatican Newspaper
Monday, February 15, 2010, 3:08 PM
Joe Carter
Did Jeffrey “The Dude” Lebowski get a job at L’ Osservatore Romano? That seems to be the only explanation for the Holy See’s official newspaper including these works on their list of top ten rock and pop albums of all time:
The Beatles’ “Revolver”
Pink Floyd’s “The Dark Side of The Moon”
Oasis’  “(What’s the Story) Morning Glory?”
Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”
U2’s “Achtung Baby”
Fleetwood Mac’s “Rumours”
Donald Fagen’s “The Nightfly”
Carlos Santana’s “Supernatural”
Paul Simon’s “Graceland”
David Crosby’s “If I Could Only Remember My Name.”
According to the WSJ, the rock critics at L’ Osservatore claim the albums are perfect listening material for anyone who finds himself marooned on a desert island. This could not be more wrong. Unless you’re stranded on a island with a bunch of hippies, there is no way you want to listen to Pink Floyd, Donald Fagen, and David Crosby. (As a matter of fact, if you’re stranded on an island with hippies those are also the last albums you’d ever want to listen to.)
“Thriller” deserves a place on the list but I can’t imagine how the others made the cut. U2 and the Beatles should be included but “Achtung Baby” and “Revolver” aren’t even their best albums (those would be “Joshua Tree” and “The White Album”). And who in their right mind thinks that any albums containing the talentless Wyclef Jean warbling “Maria Maria” or the Gallagher brothers singing “Champagne Supernova” belong on an all-time best list? Are they trying to convince us that rock really is the devil’s music?
The paper did, however, get one thing right:
The article by Giuseppe Fiorentino and Gaetano Vallini said that Bob Dylan was excluded from the list despite his “great poetic vein” because he paved the way for generations of unprofessional singer-songwriters who have “harshly tested the ears and patience of listeners” with their tormented stories.

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I was still doubtful after I read that post on the First Things website and so I checked out Google and I found this on a far out blog (I cleaned up some of the scatalogical language):

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The Pope Loves Michael Jackson? The Vatican Newspaper Tries Music Criticism
By Sarah Ventre
Fri., Feb. 19 2010 @ 12:33PM
http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/uponsun/2010/02/so_this_one_time_when_the_pope.php

You know you wanna find out what his top 10 list is like…
No. This is not the start of a really bad or tasteless joke. Recently, the Vatican’s newspaper, L’Osservatore Romano came out with a list of the ten best rock/pop albums. And the results may be surprising. In no particular order they are:

Michael Jackson – Thriller
Oasis – (What’s the Story) Morning Glory?
Beatles – Revolver
Pink Floyd – Dark Side of the Moon
U2 – Achtung Baby
Fleetwood Mac – Rumours
Donald Fagan – The Nightfly
Carlos Santana – Supernatural
Paul Simon – Graceland
David Crosby – If I Could Only Remember My Name
Um. Okay. (Breath.) But — how the f…k?? Who thought that… Wait. Seriously? Is this really the list?
Really though, it does make you wonder.
Question #1: Who the f..k came up with this list?
I doubt the Pope sat down and said, “Okay guys. I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and I think it’s time we put our seal on it and make it official. And yeah – Achtung Baby really needs to be on the list. S…w the Joshua Tree. I always thought Achtung was a way better album.”
So maybe it was all of the Cardinals having a meeting? Can you imagine them sitting around with cups of coffee and packs of cigarettes until late into the night, bickering and rearranging until they had the final list?
Cardinal #1: “Well boys, we’re gonna have to settle this, and soon.”
Cardinal #2: “Come on — you can’t be serious, though. David Crosby? Could we at least compromise and throw a CSNY on there?”
Cardinal #3: “No, no! Leave it on! We already put Pink Floyd AND Oasis on there, and those were your choices. No one else wanted Oasis, man. Just you.”
Cardinal #2: *sigh* “Okay, fine. Do whatever you want. You know our main man would agree with me. But, whatever. Just so you know, I’m gonna blog about this later.”
(We won’t get into the Donald Fagan choice.)
Question #2: Isn’t some of the content, not entirely, uh, “Papal-approved”?
Sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll. And that’s just the beginning. Come on — the title track off of (What’s the Story) Morning Glory? about snorting blow. Rumours ?? All about having premarital sex with all of your band mates. Michael Jackson? Thriller may be a great album, but his personal past is sketchy at best. (I realize that there’s an obvious comeback about the Catholic Church, so please don’t feel obligated to make it.)
Question #3: WHY???
I mean, it’s kind of cool that the Church is trying to be up on “modern” issues. But does anyone see any actual relevance of this?
Rumor has it that the Pope himself was considering making his own blog. Wonder if he’d have his own rockin’ music list. Go ahead, have at it. What in the world do you think about this??

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This is crazy!  I know that L’Osservatore Romano has printed a lot of crazy articles, such as its homenaje to Barack Hussein Obama and its condemnation of the Archbishop in Brazil who excommunicated the doctors who performed the abortion on the twins of the pregnant girl in Brazil, but this is too much.
The Editor of L’Osservatore Romano answers only to Cardinal Bertone, the Secretary of State, and so this is one more reason why Cardinal Bertone should resign even though the Pope has asked him to stay on until he is 80 years of age.

About abyssum

I am a retired Roman Catholic Bishop, Bishop Emeritus of Corpus Christi, Texas
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