Eccles and Bosco is saved

Who is the real Pope?

Posted: 17 Nov 2017 04:57 AM PST

In these troubled times, there seem to be four possible theories about who is actually the Pope:1. Pope Francis.
2. Pope Benedict.
3. Nobody.
4. Someone else entirely.So it’s time for an in-depth analysis. Not that you’ll get one here.

Pope's empty chair

Sedevacantists see things this way.

1. Pope Francis is the obvious answer. Elected by a conclave in 2013; white smoke; goes around in white robes; sleeps in a humble broom-cupboard in the Vatican. After his private correction by Cardinal Burke, his correctio filialis by a bunch of wise men, and a telling-off from Fr Weinandy – with none of which has he publicly disagreed – he is now the most orthodox Catholic on the planet.

Of course he has a few blind spots as regards how to run the Church. Whatever made him think that Blase Cupich was worthy of doing any job more spiritual than emptying the dustbins? Does he really think we’ve forgotten his Anschluss with the Order of Malta? When the newspapers carried headlines ELDERLY DICTATOR UNDER HOUSE ARREST, who thought of Mugabe, and who thought of Francis? Still, otherwise he’s played a blinder. Well, apart from… no, let’s move on.

Benedict XVI drinking beer

Two litres of Amoris Laetitia, please!

2. Pope Benedict? Well, he was apparently forced out after undue pressure from his enemies in the Church. They kept sending him copies of the Tablet and essays by Austen Ivereigh. After such relentless persecution, who can blame him if he decided to spend more time with his beer, I mean prayer? On the other hand, it’s not entirely clear that popes can resign.

Still, he says he’s not the Pope, and he ought to know.

3. Nobody. There are two groups here. One is the group that believes that all popes since Vatican II (or possibly since Pius V) were invalidly elected. This viewpoint is supported by the prophecies of St Malachy, Nostradamus, and Mystic Meg.

The second group – more interesting – finds something distinctly fishy in the story of the 2013 conclave, where, thanks to the St Gallen Mafia, or Cormac Murphy-O’Connor, or British intelligence, or perhaps Batman’s arch-nemesis the Joker, some skulduggery took place. In which case the cardinals need to go back into the Sistine Chapel and try again. Good luck with that one.

Jabba and Soros

The Soros twins.

4. Someone else was secretly elected by the conclave in 2013. Pope Francis is merely a “stunt pope” who does all the dangerous things like driving the Popemobile at high speed, flying in aeroplanes, and making the odd speech, indeed very odd speech. Somewhere in the background is an Eminence Grise who is pulling the strings. This may be:

i) George Soros, who appears to have a finger in every disreputable pie;
ii) Vladimir Putin, who is blamed for everything;
iii) The Habsburgs, who seem to be making a come-back;
iv) Richard Branson, who seems to be everywhere (except that I have never seen him on one of his delayed trains).

Alternatively, Douglas Adams suggested that the man who rules the Universe sits in a shack somewhere, with no companions except his cat. Well, he was nearly right: it’s actually the Catholic Church that he rules.


Or could this saved person be the power behind the throne?

About abyssum

I am a retired Roman Catholic Bishop, Bishop Emeritus of Corpus Christi, Texas
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to WHO IS THE REAL POPE ???

  1. Wonderful Post! Pope Benedict is either truly a “Pope Emeritus” while still maintaining the Graces of the Papacy for having held it, and Francis subsequently was elected, and then lost the Papacy for his heresies etc, or, Benedict is the Pope and Francis is an Anti-Pope.
    I will take one Litre of Amoris Laetitia, but only because I want to be accompanied by the Vatican in my quest for discerning that Pope Benedict is the real Pope. Maybe Francis should resign, and then we will head back into the era of “three Popes”. Why not go further and have a “College of Popes” at this point? And then, since it is unclear who is Pope, etc, Catholics get to pick their Pope according to whatever they believe. Or they can claim the name Catholic, pick some teachings, and pick the Pope that speaks to them. The real Pope will always be a mystery. In all seriousness, having two Popes is interesting. Or do we have two Popes? I pledge my loyalty to THE Roman Pontiff and his legitimate successors.

  2. planechant2 says:

    Absolutely brilliant! Made my day, thanks.

Comments are closed.