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How to Save Money

I took down my Rebel flag (which you can no longer buy on e-bay) and peeled the NRA sticker off the front door.

I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the candy-ass Neighborhood Watch.

I bought two Pakistani flags and put one at each corner of the front yard. Then I purchase the black flag of ISIS (which you can buy on e-bay) and put it in the center of my yard.

Now, the local police, Sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching my house 24/7.

I’ve never felt safer and I’m saving $69.95 a month that ADT charged me.

Plus, I bought burkas for my family for when we shop or travel. Everyone moves out of our way and security can’t pat us down.

Yikes, finally safe at last in the USA!

hat tip:  Susan Kruger