Eccles and Bosco is saved

We have been lucky enough to be granted an interview with Pope Francis (yes, that Pope Francis). In fact we never actually met him, or spoke to him, but this is not considered necessary these days, and we have decided to make the whole thing up. Take it away, Francis!”Yes, I know I allowed Scalfari to interview me – a 93-year-old lunatic who switches off his hearing aid when he interviews, doesn’t take notes, and makes up his own account of what happened. And I know I’ve been fooled by him 489 times before. But we were told to forgive people 70 times 7 times, and this is the last,” explained the Holy Father.

“And yes, Eccles, I do believe in Hell. Look, can you imagine something nastier than this?”

Being tormented by an evil spirit in the guise of a fat clown with a stupid magazine to sell.

“Unless it’s this. Can you imagine being eternally haunted by a little imp who wants you to read his boring book?”

“In the words of Pope Benedict: ‘This is the most fantastic book that I have no intention of reading.'”

Francis gulped, and made one final comment. “Actually, joking aside, I have had a strange vision of Hell, in which Jesuit priests writhe in torment while trying unsuccessfully to build bridges with Satan. It can’t happen, can it?”

What Hell is really like.