Why does a narcissist go no contact?
Why does a narcissist go no contact?
Tom Ewall, M.S. Mathematics, University of Iowa (1984)Answered Jan 16, 2018Originally Answered: Why does the narcissist go no contact?
They don’t. They will give you the “the silent treatment.” It might appear to be the same thing, but the motivation is very different.
Going “no contact” is something a neurotypical does to protect against narcissistic abuse. Because of being mentally ill, those with narcissistic personality disorder often do horrible things to those who care for them, with no remorse, or even the least clue they’re doing anything wrong. Often they’ll never change, and unfortunately the best option is to cut off all contact with the abuser.
Narcissists will give you the silent treatment for the same reason they do everything they do, which is to prop up their idealized false self. They have a high sense of entitlement, and certain ideas, delusions, as to who they are and what they deserve. They use different psychological tactics to provoke responses from their victims to give them feedback that they are who they think they are.
If they’re giving you the silent treatment, it’s because they’re trying to exert control over you and provoke some response (anger, frustration, anxiety) which will make them feel special.
Feeling special is paramount to the narcissist.145.7k Views · View Upvoters · View SharersUpvote· 584Share· 46
Lynda BrownJan 24, 2018 · 32 upvotes including Tom Ewall
Very well said, Tom; however, I have to humbly disagree that the narcissist/narcopath doesn’t have a clue that they are doing anything wrong. They absolutely do know that they are doing something wrong…it’s just that they DON’T CARE and feel ENTITLED to break the law, rules, or just being that me…(more)Reply· Upvote· Downvote· Report
Tom EwallOriginal Author · Feb 3 · 8 upvotes
One of the aspects of narcissism is an inability to feel guilt (i.e. “doing something wrong”). Instead they have the concept of being caught.
For a neurotypical, if you’re afraid of getting caught, that means you know you’ve done something wrong, but that’s not the way narcissists perceive it. For…(more)Reply· Upvote· Downvote· Report
April RindfleischJan 28 · 9 upvotes including Lynda Brown
You are correct about the knowing. I was frequently told matter of factly they knew “exactly what they’re doing”. Actually TOLD me, while they displayed the behaviour TOWARD me. By the time I had figured out how in trouble I was with this person, I had been worn down to a nub. Somehow, I held it …(more)Reply· Upvote· Downvote· ReportView More Replies
Tom Ewall, M.S. Mathematics, University of Iowa (1984)Answered Jan 16, 2018Originally Answered: Why does the narcissist go no contact?
They don’t. They will give you the “the silent treatment.” It might appear to be the same thing, but the motivation is very different.
Going “no contact” is something a neurotypical does to protect against narcissistic abuse. Because of being mentally ill, those with narcissistic personality disorder often do horrible things to those who care for them, with no remorse, or even the least clue they’re doing anything wrong. Often they’ll never change, and unfortunately the best option is to cut off all contact with the abuser.
Narcissists will give you the silent treatment for the same reason they do everything they do, which is to prop up their idealized false self. They have a high sense of entitlement, and certain ideas, delusions, as to who they are and what they deserve. They use different psychological tactics to provoke responses from their victims to give them feedback that they are who they think they are.
If they’re giving you the silent treatment, it’s because they’re trying to exert control over you and provoke some response (anger, frustration, anxiety) which will make them feel special.
Feeling special is paramount to the narcissist.145.7k Views · View Upvoters · View SharersUpvote· 584Share· 46
Lynda BrownJan 24, 2018 · 32 upvotes including Tom Ewall
Very well said, Tom; however, I have to humbly disagree that the narcissist/narcopath doesn’t have a clue that they are doing anything wrong. They absolutely do know that they are doing something wrong…it’s just that they DON’T CARE and feel ENTITLED to break the law, rules, or just being that me…(more)Reply· Upvote· Downvote· Report
Tom EwallOriginal Author · Feb 3 · 8 upvotes
One of the aspects of narcissism is an inability to feel guilt (i.e. “doing something wrong”). Instead they have the concept of being caught.
For a neurotypical, if you’re afraid of getting caught, that means you know you’ve done something wrong, but that’s not the way narcissists perceive it. For…(more)Reply· Upvote· Downvote· Report
ABYSSUS ABYSSUM INVOCAT / DEEP CALLS TO DEEP 
My family had to go no contact with my father in law. We were there if he was sick or actually needed something but we did not engage with him unless it was an emergency. He manipulated his kids and got mad because my husband wouldn’t take the verbal abuse anymore.