HERE IS A LITTLE DOSE OF SATIRE TO HELP YOU PREPARE FOR WHAT IS COMING IN THE NEW YEAR OF 2018

Eccles and Bosco is saved


“Stop correcting me,” says Pope Francis

Posted: 27 Dec 2017 03:17 AM PST

“These days I can’t say anything at all without some fool trying to correct me,” said Pope Francis in his annual Odi et Omnes (“and I hate you all”) address to Catholics worldwide.A voice behind him immediately piped up, “Oh yes you can!”

Pope Francis and Spadaro

“Holy Father, I should point out that 2+2=5.”

“It’s getting very irritating,” continued the Pope. “Letters, phone calls, e-mails, texts, faxes, tweets, bricks flying through the window with little notes attached, drums tapping out ‘corrections’ in Morse code, … and all with the same message, that I got something wrong. I received five huge sacks of correspondence this morning.”

Tee-shirt

A sell-out at Gammarelli’s.

“I mean, this morning at breakfast I said ‘It looks like rain later’, and five minutes later Spadaro rushed in…”

Ten minutes later.”

Ten minutes later, with a filial correction giving me the weather forecast for Rome.”

doves, crow, seagull

“Now is not the time for peace.” A crow and seagull join in the attack on the papal doves in the small photo next to the photo of Francis and the children releasing the doves.  Saint Francis who loved birds is shocked, shocked !!!

“Of course I have been used to receiving green-ink corrections from people like Sosa, Martin, Faggioli, etc. for years. For example, I said something in my sermon about Jesus being the Messiah, and Fr James Martin sent me a text explaining that ‘Many New Testament Scholars’ now believe that John the Baptist was the Messiah. But I am used to that.”

At that moment an arrow flew up into the Vatican balcony and impaled the arm of the Pope’s Master of Ceremonies Guido Marini. Attached to it was a note, “Don’t say something infallibly, you’re bound to get it wrong.” Guido Marini, a man used to crises, calmly removed the arrow from his arm and said, “I think this is for you, Holy Father,” before slumping to the ground.

Pope and Guido Marini

“‘Tis but a scratch, Holy Father.”

“It’s been an odd year,” commented the Pope. “Cardinals sending Dubia, wall posters in Rome, filial corrections, that book The Dictator Pope, … anyone would think they were trying to tell me something.”

About abyssum

I am a retired Roman Catholic Bishop, Bishop Emeritus of Corpus Christi, Texas
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3 Responses to HERE IS A LITTLE DOSE OF SATIRE TO HELP YOU PREPARE FOR WHAT IS COMING IN THE NEW YEAR OF 2018

  1. Mary Deliduka and Myownbackyard2017, are right. There is a plan. It will all play out soon.

  2. The attack of the crow on the doves was definitely a Sign. I remember when that happened…I was shocked too!!

  3. Call me crazy, but I really do believe that God has a plan….
    Blessed new year to all.

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