Cardinal Vincent Nichols and Friend
|I’ll be the Eminence Grey, sir!
Posted: 17 Jan 2018 04:09 PM PST
To celebrate Cardinal Vincent Nichols’s recent complete and utter silence on moral issues such as abortion, and his new support of the dissident organization Quest, we have rewritten a classic song in his honour.Any resemblance between the following song and the “Vicar of Bray” (words and historical background here, and a sung version here) is purely deliberate.
In good Pope Pius' golden days, When I was just a laddie, I knew that if I wanted power, I'd have to be a traddy. At football matches I wore red, Dressed in the finest satin. In Liverpool they speak broad Scouse, But I spoke classic Latin. And this is law, I will maintain Unto my dying day, Sir. That whatsoever Pope may reign, I'll be the Eminence Grey*, Sir! *Eminence Grise, a person of great power.
“That kid’s up to no good.”
When John the saintly came to rule And called a great assembly, I really thought "Oh, this is dull, I'd rather be at Wembley!" The Council's rush for drastic change I could not but acknowledge, So feeling "cool" and "modern", I Went to the English College. And this is law... When Paul the Sixth possessed the throne Amidst reforms spectacular I dropped my Latin, and soon learnt To pray in the vernacular. And as the liberals seized the church I grew each day much bolder. I got ordained and offered Mass With God behind my shoulder. And this is law...
“Watch out, that young chap is up to no good.”
John Paul the first did not stay long But soon we got the Second: Quite orthodox was I just then And soon preferment beckoned. From Westminster (auxiliary) To Birmingham translated - As Archbishop, I knew that now For greatness I was slated. And this is law... When Benedict became the Pope, He thought I was inspiring, To Westminster he sent me then Since Cormac was retiring. Summ-or-um Pont-i-fic-um now Meant Us-us An-ti-qui-or. It caused most liberals, like me Despair, regret and fear. But this is law...
“Watch out, he’s up to no good.”
At last they drove old Ben away. Pope Francis came, and said that To mark the year of Mersey, now I'd get my longed-for red hat. I praised the clarity and style Of good Pope Francis' preaching, Though soon the outraged world found out He'd dropped all ancient teaching. And this is law...
Any time you feel like retiring…
So now I have run through the list Of popes I've had to follow, And if I don't become the next, Then life will seem quite hollow. For Quest and ACTA I support, I let "gay" masses flourish, And this is what you'll get from me When e'er Pope Francis perish. Still, this is law, I will maintain Unto my dying day, Sir. That whatsoever Pope may reign, I'll be the Eminence Grey, Sir!