Eccles and Bosco is saved

In his latest document Gaudeamus Igitur, our great Chairman Francis has announced a “cultural revolution” in pontifical universities. Thousands of capitalist running-dog theologians will be purged, and the rest sent out to the people’s farms to plant rice.

Our chairman, in excellent health, seen here swimming in the Tiber with some friends.

Members of the ruling Jesuit party applauded Chairman Francis’s latest “great leap forward”, condemning the “paper tigers” of traditional Catholicism. This follows the notorious “long march” (in fact a long aeroplane journey) towards a new Catholicism.

Naturally the Chairman’s supporters have been enthusiastically waving their little red books: these contain the thoughts of Chairman Francis, including his new translation of the “capitalist” Lord’s Prayer, and his new “people’s” Beatitudes.

The Thoughts of Chairman Francis.

Francis has promised to “let a hundred flowers” bloom, each symbolizing a new change in Church teaching. Critics of the regime have now largely disappeared, as “reactionary” party bishops have been sidelined and replaced by state-approved functionaries.

Sometimes, there has not been enough spineless people to go round. The Chairman’s latest innovation is to replace them with wobbly blancmanges, believing (rightly) that nobody will be able to tell the difference.

A typical Francis-appointed cardinal (with modernist crozier).