HERE IS YOUR LITTLE DAILY DOSE OF SATIRE TO HELP YOU AS YOU SEEK TO COPE WITH THE INHERENT CONTRADICTIONS CONTAINED IN ALMOST EVERY STATEMENT ON IMMIGRATION EMANATING FROM THE USCCB

Eccles and Bosco is saved


Cardinal condemns God for separating families

Posted: 17 Jun 2018 02:18 PM PDT

Cardinal Daniel DiNardo, president of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, has slammed God for building a wall round Heaven and separating families.Said His Eminence, “It is shocking to think that there is no free access to Heaven, and that people who illegally try to enter – perhaps when St Peter’s attention is distracted by a discussion of fishing techniques – are rounded up and interned in Hell. This means that some people are entering Heaven to discover that their parents have been sent elsewhere.”

Donald Trump

An artist’s vision of God.

A spokesman for God (St Matthew of Catholic Voices) remarked that Divine Immigration Policy clearly stated “And every one that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands for my name’s sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall possess life everlasting. So there!”

Meanwhile, the USCCB stressed that they were speaking out in their capacity as a pro-life organization: they were concerned about immigration, but had very little objection to children being destroyed in the womb, and they would certainly not deny communion to abortionists, whether practising or simply preaching the doctrine of death. In this they were backed up by organizations such as “Catholics for Choice”, “Catholics for Infanticide”, “Catholics for Herod” and “Catholics for BLOOD SLAUGHTER MURDER DEATH PSYCHO AAAAGGGGHHH”.

Daniel DiNardo

“In the words of Holy Scripture: VOTE DEMOCRAT.”

About abyssum

I am a retired Roman Catholic Bishop, Bishop Emeritus of Corpus Christi, Texas
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