SEVEN HUNDRED CALORIES FOR KIDS FROM MAINE TO MAUI, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING, I MEAN JOKING

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NATIONAL REVIEW
Happy Warrior   •   October 15, 2012, Issue
Let Them Go Hungry

By Mark Steyn
 

I dislike first ladies — as a concept, I mean, not as dinner dates. I think of the first lady as an individual who happens to be married to the guy with the job, rather than as a job in its own right with a huge staff and bloated budget. But I seem to be in a minority, and most Americans appear to be comfortable with the neo-monarchical inflating of the president’s wife into a full-blown Queen Consort. So, to give all those staffers the pretense of something to do, it’s necessary to identify a “cause” for the first lady to “champion.” The Arab Spring? Whoa, steady on. By “cause,” we mean something kinda non-political, more like good works, but with the force of federal power behind it.

So it was decided that Michelle Obama would go to war on childhood obesity. Democrats and Republicans should be able to agree that there’s a lot of it about, and it doesn’t say anything good about where we’re headed. And so it was that the president signed into law the Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act. Like I said, all very bipartisan: It passed in the Senate by unanimous voice vote — because who’s against healthy, hunger-free kids? And thus, in order to lend credibility to a make-work project for the Queen Consort, America is now a land in which a government bureaucrat at the Department of Agriculture sets the maximum permitted calories for school lunches across the fruited plain and all the way to Guam. “I’m confident we have a core healthy set of proposed diets for children,” said Kevin Concannon, the U.S. undersecretary for food, nutrition, and consumer services.

At the European Commission, the chef de cabinet, despite his title, does not actually determine the national menu. But in Washington, Tom Vilsack, the secretary of agriculture, is literally the chef de cabinet. He sets the set menu — and there’s no ordering à la carte, not when the carte stretches from Maine to Hawaii.

Okay, that’s enough lame francophone punning. This year some guy working in some office someplace some ways down the chain from the chef de cabinet decided to reduce the permitted lunchtime calorie intake of American middle-schoolers from 785 calories to 700 calories. I chanced to read this news while sitting in my doctor’s office staring at a Body Mass Index chart on the wall. If you’ve ever attended a middle-school choir concert and watched a 4′10″ boy warbling along with a 5′6″ girl from the grade below, you’ll know that things can get really wacky developmentally round about Grade Six. But a bureaucrat in Washington has decided that, food-wise, one size fits all. The World Health Organization considers BMI 25 to be overweight for Caucasians but BMI 23 for Asians. Yet a bureaucrat in Washington can breezily impose a uniform calorific intake on the school cafeterias of Honolulu and Buffalo.

The first lady was on hand for the launch of the new federally mandated lunch limits. The stench of failure and risibility has not yet attached to this initiative as it has to so many other Obama-era bureaucratic excesses. But, through September, returning schoolchildren complained about their new, insufficient lunches. Teachers and parents who took up their cause did so in statist terms, beseeching the commissars to raise the mandated calorie limits. Very few did so on first-principle grounds — which is to say the argument that a system in which a centralized bureaucracy attempts to impose a uniform menu on a nation of 300 million people is nuts, and cannot survive. In theory, education is the responsibility of local school districts in sovereign states. Yet somehow a bureaucrat in the Department of Agriculture wound up with a monopoly on what your kids eat.

Where do you go to vote out the Commissar of School Lunches? Even if Romney wins in November, I doubt this will be anybody’s big priority. Statists well understand that you don’t need a president-for-life if you’ve got a bureaucracy-for-life. Sometimes your team has to take a time-out for a couple of years, but, even when they do, all the departments and agencies and bureaus are still in place, hyper-regulating away. I mean, how often does the party of small government actually abolish anything?

And if Obama wins, you’ll get the National Calorie Limits approach to government supersized: A vast regulatory octopus entwining itself around every aspect of the citizen’s life. America is already hideously over-bureaucratized and pushing against the limits. It’s not a small, homogeneous Scandinavian nation of a few million. It’s a vast sprawling broke behemoth for which the concentration of power at the center will prove fatal.

In my latest book (now out in paperback!), I mention the famous image that closes Planet of the Apes: a loinclothed Charlton Heston falling to his knees as he comes face to face with a shattered Statue of Liberty poking out of the desolate sands. And I write that liberty is not a statue, and that is not how liberty falls. The more likely dystopia is a land where the Statue still stands, yet liberty itself withers away remorselessly, often under cover of bright shiny novel “liberties” and “freedoms” — “free” health care, “free” college education with “free” contraceptives for 30-year-old students. Until eventually you reach a point where a man in an office thousands of miles away is determining how much your child can eat — and nobody finds that unusual.

Didn’t Oliver Twist have something to say about this?
“Please, sir, I want some more.”
Dickensian London: “Do I understand that he asked for more, after he had eaten the supper allotted by the dietary?”
Obamafied America: “Do I understand that he asked for more, after he had eaten the luncheon allotted by the National Dietary Commissar?”

Forward!

About abyssum

I am a retired Roman Catholic Bishop, Bishop Emeritus of Corpus Christi, Texas
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2 Responses to SEVEN HUNDRED CALORIES FOR KIDS FROM MAINE TO MAUI, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING, I MEAN JOKING

  1. anselmusjmj says:

    This is the democratic platform’s agenda at its best… micromanage and dictate all aspects of a person’s life, from how they do not worship God to how they stuff their faces. The socialist dems do not believe in freedom.

  2. I am so tired of the Obamas ,both of them, they really are the biggest hypocrites that ever stepped into the White House they are absurd. We live in a country which allows the murder of the most innocent under the title the right to choose, they seem not to finish the sentence,the right to choose what? murder! but these same people are so distressed about how much soda pop someone drinks. Soda Pop or Sodomy! What planet am I on. I am voting for Romney, because he is the better choice, and Obama is the worst President we ever had. How anyone could vote for Obama seems hilarious, but the joke’s on us, and its a bad joke with dire consequences. Recently an article stated that The President’s family costs US 20 times what royal family costs UK. Many Catholics are under the impression that Obama is for the poor, not so at all, the Math speaks for itself The rich got richer under Obama, and as Biden told us the Middle Class has been devastated for the last 4 years, the poor got poorer.Many have also been brain washed that Obama is a Peace President unlike Bush, well we are in more wars with this guy, the difference is his use of Drone Attacks which target civilians, You will not win any war bombing a country This was what General Eisenhower;s argument was, obviously Obama never read Crusade In Europe written by Eisenhower. Bush was Bush lite compared to Obama, Obama has made things much worse in the Middle East and created a safe haven for terrorist. He is now again trying to portray Romney as a war hawk when he is the one whose Arab Spring turned into The Winter of despair for many, especially, our beloved Ambassador Christopher Stevens. But of course the people that really served and sacrificed and were not protected and are ignored by the Liberal Media they are more interested in Big Bird then the Ambassador. One wonders what will happen with four more years of Obama I believe the moral decay of America is the sole reason we have such an arrogant pompous idiot for President. Catholics better wake up fast and pray for Our Beloved Country and the intercession of The Blessed Virgin Mary.

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